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MARY. It’s past squeezing, ma’am—in this world.

NANCY. I was reading in a book the other day about two people who went out to dinner one night—they always dine late in books, Mary—and ordered a grilled bone. It seemed such a funny thing to have, when they had everything else to choose from. I suppose our bone——?

MARY. Grilling wouldn’t do it no good, ma’am.

NANCY. Well, I suppose we mustn’t blame it. It has been a good joint to us.

MARY. A good stayer, as you might say.

NANCY. Yes. Well, I suppose we shall have to get another.

MARY. Yes, ma’am.

NANCY. Would you look in my purse? (MARY goes to the sideboard and opens the purse.) How much is there?

ssss1MARY. Three coppers and two stamps, ma’am.

NANCY. Oh! (Determined to be brave) Well, that’s fivepence.

MARY. They are halfpenny stamps, ma’am.

NANCY (utterly undone). Oh, Mary! What a very unfortunate morning we’re having. (Coaxingly) Well, anyhow it’s fourpence, isn’t it?

MARY. Yes, ma’am.

NANCY. Well, now what can we get for fourpence?

MARY (stolidly). A turkey.