Читать книгу Frank Merriwell's Own Company; Or, Barnstorming in the Middle West онлайн

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There were some steps at one end, and Frank assisted the man up those, grasping his hand and shaking it warmly as he led him to a seat in the center of the stage.

"Oh, sir!" sighed Merry, with apparent sincerity, "if I had your beautiful cold, I could sneeze out a barrel of money in a very short time."

"You're gassin'."

"Certainly not. After I made the discovery of how easy it is to turn sneezing into good money, I tried to keep a cold all the time. Before that I could not seem to get rid of a cold when I caught it. Since then I am not able to keep one after I have caught it. I used to have a cold in the fall, the winter, the spring, the summer. When I didn't have a cold, I had hay fever. I sneezed till I was sore and weary of life. Then I sat down and set to work on a plan to turn my sneezing into money. I studied over it for many moons, and finally I hit upon a plan. I put it to the test, and the very first day of my experiment I succeeded in sneezing about a peck of copper cents. I was not satisfied with that, and I sought to improve the system. Before the end of the second day, I was able to sneeze five and ten-cent pieces, but my cold was getting better. On the third day I became sufficiently skillful to sneeze silver quarters, but, to my intense regret, I found I could not sneeze very often. The next day I only sneezed seven times, but every sneeze brought me a good new half dollar. When the fifth day came I sneezed just twice, but each time I got a silver dollar. And the following day I was unable to sneeze at all, so I ceased to advance in skill, but I am satisfied I should have been able to sneeze ten-dollar gold pieces within a few more days. Since then I have done everything in my power to catch a good, fat, sneezing cold, but fate is against me. I expose myself to all kinds of wretched weather, but I can't get a cold that will stay with me more than a couple of sneezes. It is a sad, sad fate for one who has made such an important discovery."