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These were the things that made me realize more and more that I was not remotely willing to give up Pietro.

With my face pressed into the pillow I dreamed of Pietro, and clenched my teeth so as not to cry.

Filippo was never there: absent in moments of joy, and in moments of deep pain.

Absent not for nonsense, of course, for work.

" I serve the people!"

His work as a security guard made him feel a

step above the others.

For me by now it was late, too late to give up, to undo fastened ties, to give up, to do without Pietro.

I started because of pain.

Because of pain in love,

or love of the pain

now I don't know anymore.

I wrote love

and I didn't notice it

until many lines later,

when the pain reclined

tired and afflicted

on the extended palm of my heart.

And I loved.

Without hesitation and reservations,

certain

in the dark,

to find pain again,

only pain.

10.

The gala dinner

Giovanni Percalli, the new director of the company that managed the supermarket chain where I worked, had decided to offer a dinner to all the employees so they could meet him and to celebrate this new milestone.