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"Logic and reason support you as well as conscience," said Mr. Parsons—in his calm, precise voice. "If it's true that the King's supremacy is of divine appointment, then to put him aside and swear allegiance to another is to presume to dictate to Almighty God."
"True, Sir—quite true—you speak well," said Gervase—then was not quite sure if the other had spoken so well. There had been too great a stress upon the if; and why was everyone determined to get rid of his conscience?
§ 10
He sometimes wondered how and why it was that in certain happy moments his heart should fail him suddenly, sinking under some panic of loneliness, disappointment or even despair. Yesterday, among his chattering daughters, he had felt lonely—utterly lonely and forsaken; and to-day, talking to his kind brother and sister and their courteous friend, planning his future among them, he suddenly felt hopeless, frustrated, a man whose life is useless and undone. On the way home the feeling persisted. His thoughts no longer galloped ahead of him, and his bodily pace was slower too. He smote at the hedges with his stick, and scowled as he walked, staring at the dust on his shoes. It was well enough to plan for his life at Conster, but he could not see it now as a life worth living. He would not be independent. His father had left him a small personal fortune, but had always meant it to be supplemented by the tithes and revenues of the Vicarage of Leasan, amounting in all to some four hundred pounds a year—indeed, no doubt he had thought in time of a richer living than Leasan . . . he had not thought of Gervase being stuck there twenty years. At Conster he would feel the want of his fees—that is if he meant to live as an independent gentleman and not on his brother's hospitality. But he would have to accept Charles's hospitality in part . . . his brother would not hear of his paying rent for his rooms or for food that came off the estate—though doubtless Louise would soon find the difference that five healthy young women as hungry as carp would make to her housekeeping. Still, they would doubtless soon be all married and gone. Only he would be left—living on in his brother's house, useless and obscure—he who had once thought to make the world his ball.