Читать книгу An Affair of State онлайн

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"Oh, no, Jeff. You're not silly. You're perfectly logical."

"Well?"

She didn't attempt to move, or say anything more, until his fingers loosened. "I'm not afraid for myself," she said then. "If I thought the world would go up in one big bang I honestly wouldn't care much. I think I'd be sort of relieved. It's just that I'm afraid to have anyone else because I've got the damndest premonition I'd lose him."

"If you went to a psychiatrist," Jeff said, "which I think you ought to do, he'd tell you you were wrong."

"I'm sure of it. If I thought I could have a man without too many inner complications, well, we'd be in there, and not out here. Only I know I can't, Jeff. I've only had one man in my life. Well, not counting schoolgirl experiments. And if I had another I'd feel the same way towards him that I did towards my husband and then, the war would come along and kill him."

"The trouble with you, Susan, is that you won't take a chance on the world."

"I don't see why I should take a chance when I know that the cards are stacked. Now go on home, Jeff. I'll stay as I am."