Читать книгу Five Quarters of the Orange / Пять четвертинок апельсина онлайн
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I began to crawl closer, using the fallen tree as cover. Tomas went on.
“The funny thing was that I’d always thought I was the coward in the family. I kept my head down. I didn’t take risks. But from then on, to my parents I was a hero. Suddenly I’d taken Ernst’s place. It was as if he’d never existed. I was their only son. I was everything.”
“Wasn’t that… scary?” Cassis’s voice was almost inaudible.
Tomas nodded.
I heard Cassis sigh then, a sound like a heavy door closing.
“He wasn’t supposed to die,” said my brother. I guessed it was Father to whom he referred. Tomas waited patiently, seemingly impassive. “He was always supposed to be so clever. He had everything under control. He wasn’t a coward-”
Cassis broke off and glared at Tomas, as if his silence implied something. His voice and his hands were shaking. Then he began to scream in a high, tortured voice, words I could hardly make out spilling over themselves in furious eagerness to be free.
“He wasn’t supposed to die! He was supposed to sort everything out and make everything better and instead he went and got his stupid self blown up and now it’s me in charge and I… don’t… know… what to do anymore and I’m‘s-s-sc-”