Читать книгу The Life of Rev. David Brainerd, Chiefly Extracted from His Diary онлайн

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2. “Another point that irritated me was, that faith alone was the condition of salvation; that God would not come down to lower terms; and that he would not promise life and salvation upon my sincere and hearty prayers and endeavors. That word, Mark 16:16, “He that believeth not shall be damned,” cut off all hope there. I found that faith was the sovereign gift of God; that I could not get it as of myself; and could not oblige God to bestow it upon me by any of my performances,performances, Eph. 2:1, 8. “This,” I was ready to say, “is a hard saying, who can hear it?” I could not bear that all I had done should stand for mere nothing; as I had been very conscientious in duty, had been very religious a great while, and had, as I thought, done much more than many others who had obtained mercy. I confessed indeed the vileness of my duties; but then what made them at that time seem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them, rather than because I was all over defiled like a devil, and the principle corrupt from whence they flowed, so that I could not possibly do any thing that was good. Hence I called what I did by the name of honest faithful endeavors; and could not bear it, that God had made no promises of salvation to them.