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We were given no formal instruction in these difficult matters but we learned our lessons well. We learned the intricate system of taboos, of renunciations and compensations, of manners, voice modulations, words, feelings, along with our prayers, our toilet habits, and our games. I do not remember how or when, but by the time I had learned that . . . all men are brothers with a common Father, I also knew that I was better than a Negro, . . . that a terrifying disaster would befall my family if ever I treated a Negro as my social equal and as terrifying a disaster would befall my family if ever I were to have a baby outside of marriage. (27-28)

Obviously interwoven with lessons about gender, Smith’s race training eventually came to include very specific, if often unspoken, rules about not eating or drinking or shaking hands with black people, not calling black men and women “Mr.” and “Mrs.” or showing other forms of respect, and in general not becoming too “familiar” with African Americans.