Читать книгу Terrible Tractoration, and Other Poems онлайн

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Is cap-a-pie to cap a pie.

A stick of bass-wood, being bevill’d

By gastronomic art bedevill’d,

Or served as Welchmen cook their cheese,

A man of taste will always please.

From saw dust, bran and pebble stones,

And quantum suff. of pounded bones,

We form the most delicious dishes

That e’er indulged the gourmand’s wishes.

When our great plans are brought to pass,

Mankind en masse may go to grass;

And every rover, will moreover,

Enjoy his lot like pig in clover.

We next crave liberty to mention

Another wonderful invention;

A sort of stenographic still,

Alias a Patent Author’s mill.

We fill its hopper with a set

Of letters of the alphabet,

And turn out eulogies, orations,

Or themes for July celebrations,—

News, both domestic and extraneous,

Essays, and extracts miscellaneous,

We manufacture by the means

Of said superlative machines.

This last invention also reaches

To making Congress members’ speeches;

Would they adopt it, though we’ve said it,

T’would cent per cent enhance their credit.

We hammer’d out a lawyer’s jaw mill,