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Mutuality

In the minds of young lovers no doubt exists that their love should be mutual. The doubt comes later in their married life that possibly some impediment either existed in a latent state before they were married and has developed since, so that they ceased to be mutual; or, not previously existing, was developed by some factor in their later married life unforeseen in their earlier days and therefore impossible to avoid.

In the creation and maintenance of mutuality in the early married life the young husband is the only one concerned. If there is real mutuality caused by a perfect response in his bride, he can maintain it only if he knows how he has gained it. If it was gained by merely instinctive actions on his own part, and if he is impressed by the beauty of the mystery, and repeats to himself how wonderful it is, and how inexplicable to have so warm a response, he will not have a good chance of continuing it. He will have to do what he has not yet done. Consciously, and purposefully, he will observe his wife’s reactions during the entirety of the love episode; that is, from the beginning of one quite through to the beginning of the next one, not merely the period of the highest level of erotic excitement.