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Every time I realized it too late and, trapped, became aware of the role I should have
impersonated in that moment of my life, in that situation, while at night thoughts mingled with dreams, and dreams with memories.
With time I have learned at leave the ME that I would have liked to be on a hanger in the closet, and my life went on inexorably, in the attempt never carried out to escape from the inadequacy which no-one had ever been able to allay.
2.
Memories
As a child I always had an almost reverential fear of being judged by my family, by my parents.
I went through my life with uncertain steps always keeping an eye focused on the reactions that my actions aroused.
Never once was it necessary for them to tell me what they would like me to do, what my choice should be, what decision to make.
A look.
That was enough to carry out, unwittingly, their every will.
Maybe I could have made different choices, but this feeling never emerged from the antechamber of my thoughts, so it didn't exist in my head.