Читать книгу The Confessions Of A Concubine онлайн

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I took refuge in music and reading, which allowed me to escape from what I did not see as a prison, but which was that.

***

I have no unpleasant memories to erase, more a series of colorless days, spent dreaming of living a life like a tv show.

I studied out of passion and also to please my family though they never seemed to be satisfied, perhaps believing that in that way it would spur me to do better.

So I got used to believing that I was nothing special.

I rarely looked at myself in the mirror, I believed I was even a little ugly, simply because life had taught me not to trust in myself, in my potential.

Retracing my days backwards, I realize only now that the best was always expected of me, but once I attained it, it was not worth even a mention, a compliment, and the goal had always moved a few steps further ahead.

I graduated with honors, and even that seemed

like a given.

The teachers pushed everyone so that I could continue to study but my family did not sponsor this initiative, and it was taken for granted that I should look for a job.