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In spite of the discouraging diagnosis, Barbara never lost sight of the fact that she still had a choice about how to live her life. A little more than a year ago, Barbara's daughter contacted us to let us know that she had passed. When, like Barbara, we look at the choices that are available to us rather than the choices that are not, we retain the freedom to live a life of intentional purpose and fulfillment.

Coming at life from “choose to” rather than “have to” gives you the only control that you have in life. The quality of your choices determines the quality of your life. As Barbara bravely testifies, we are free to choose in all circumstances.

When my youngest (Emma) was 7 or 8, my wife, Judy, and I began confronting her with her freedom to choose for herself, and to consider the consequences of her choices. Early on, we would have to “coach” her through the process of identifying the consequences.

When Emma would ask to do something that we felt was not likely to turn out well, we would ask her, “Emma, if you do that, what do you think will happen?” This question was intended to help her learn to connect her choices with their likely consequences (natural or applied). Next, we would ask her, “Is there anything else you could do?” And then lastly, “What do you think will happen if you make that choice instead?”