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MY BIRTH

In psychologically healthy mothers, the pain of childbirth can strengthen the bond with the child (‘My pain was worth it because I can now hold my beloved child in my arms’). Conversely, for women who really do not want to become mothers at all, the pain of childbirth can just further strengthen her rejection of the child. This was the case with my mother. When I asked her how my birth had been, all she spoke of was the great pain that she’d had to endure and how she had almost bled to death during my birth. She did not waste a single second’s thought on what this situation must have been like for me. Through self-encounters I have since clarified this for myself: my birth was horrible and loveless.

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DEATH OF THE MOTHER AT BIRTH

It is massively traumatising for a child when its mother dies during or shortly after birth. Such an experience shapes the rest of the child’s life and usually leads to deep depression and great difficulty in forming relationships with partners. If a woman with this primal trauma then goes on and has children of her own, she unconsciously falls into the role of being the child towards her own children and cannot adequately fulfil the role of mother especially during the birth process.