Читать книгу I WANT TO LIVE, LOVE & BE LOVED. a plea for all of us to find true joy in life and real human connection in peace and freedom онлайн

50 страница из 66

SUBMISSION

If the perpetrator that is causing us to fear for our life is a person close to us, this leads to an attitude of submission towards the perpetrator. The healthy I, as an inner reference point that could give love and security, is no longer operating. Especially in the mother-child relationship, a child submits to their mother, who may have rejected them or even tried to kill them. The child continues to look to her for love because the child is instinctively oriented towards the mother. The continual contact with the perpetrator creates a chronic situation of re-traumatisation. Among other things, this gives rise to the multitude of psychosomatic illnesses.

COLDNESS AND INSENSITIVITY

The energetic flooding with stress hormones, that happens in a situation where we fear that we may die, causes a life-threatening overload of the whole organism. Since this person is in a situation of powerlessness and helplessness these energies cannot be used, they have nowhere to go and just boil up and up. To avoid this new danger the whole organism must be drastically cooled down. This leads to a complementary counter-dynamic of cooling. In order to avoid being flooded by their fears of death, the alternative for these people is to avoid all emotional excitement as far as possible. People who carry split-off fears of death can therefore become very cold and dismissive. They are not emotionally accessible to their fellow human beings because of their own self-protection strategies.