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25 Ruppert, F. (2011) Splits in the Soul. Green Balloon, UK.

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RESTAGING

Another consequence of splitting off the fears of death and abandonment is to unconsciously bring about situations in one’s own life in which life and death are always at stake. This often puts other people in danger. For example, a woman may have an abortion because she herself once survived an abortion attempt by her own mother when she was in the womb.

In this way too, suicide attempts can also be re-enactments of our early experiences. They may essentially be us re-enacting the original situation where our own mother or father wanted to abort us.

SENSE OF SECURITY AND LOVE

The most effective antidote to fear is, of course, love. Love can help overcome and neutralise fear. When people feel loved, they can also deal with their own fears in a better and more appropriate way. To love and be loved gives us a deep feeling of security, safety and protection. This is why attachment theory speaks of ‘secure attachment’ when the child feels that its needs are perceived and taken seriously by its mother.26