Читать книгу I WANT TO LIVE, LOVE & BE LOVED. a plea for all of us to find true joy in life and real human connection in peace and freedom онлайн

53 страница из 66

35

This creates fear-dependency traps for mothers as well as for their children, from which they may never be able to escape for the rest of their lives without therapeutic help. The mothers feel powerless and overwhelmed by their children and the children feel powerless and overwhelmed in the face of their mothers. Both are then stuck in this mixture of fears of death and abandonment and each are afraid to face their repressed and deeply split-off trauma feelings.

Being trapped in a state of fear means increasingly giving up contact with ourselves and losing ourselves in the face of external circumstances. Overall, it means we are unable to live a good life for the vast majority of the time because we are in constant stress, exhaust ourselves in arguments and only survive in a symbiotic entanglement instead of living from the heart and with joy.

16. Do Not Deliberately Frighten People!

Most people are full to the brim with fears of one kind or another. Therefore, we should not give each other any additional reason to feel frightened. And we certainly shouldn’t instil any more fears in our children. Because of their high vulnerability, they have come into their lives full of fears and have a hard time processing them, especially in the face of traumatised parents.